Arf arf

The other day, a buddy was telling me that his car recently died while parked in an underground garage and, improbably, on an elevated platform. It took a screwdriver, four jacks, and five attendants to push and pull the car into a position where the tow truck could get it out of garage. Once freed, the car was getting towed to a dealership up in the Bronx, so my buddy jumped into the backseat of the cab behind the driver and his apprentice. 

Cruising up the west side highway, the driver got a call from a friend, whom the driver described as a “thug.” The driver’s friend was in a bit of a pickle - his dog had recently died and he was calling from outside the pet crematorium. He had two choices, the reasonably priced option of having his dog cremated with other dogs or paying substantially more for an exclusive cremation.

I mention, because I am who I am, that a few years back I listened to a podcast on pet crematoria and they are rife with fraud. The podcast, which a google search of “podcast pet cremation” later revealed was published by Freakonimcs in 2013, ran a series of trials comparing the results of group cremations and exclusive ones. This review led to a discovery, that  based on DNA testing, there is no difference between the two. In other words, the exclusive cremations are not exclusive. For those, like me, are morbidly curious, listen here: http://freakonomics.com/podcast/the-troubled-cremation-of-stevie-the-cat-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/

The driver, an unsympathetic man, yells at his friend to make a [expletive deleted] decision, harrangues him for always being indecisive, and hangs up. The driver turns to his apprentice and my buddy to explain that his friend is nuts.  He adds that his “thug” friend has a few tattoos and got his (now dead) dog matching tattoos (while alive).  And when his dog died, he held a wake for the dog in his apartment — with an open casket.

I said to my friend when I hear a “thug” is this close to his dog, I’m thinking it’s a pit bull or Rottweiler. My buddy reponse: "I asked that driver, he said Corgi."

Stoat

A small, stinking animal.

Source: http://qi.com/infocloud/dr-johnson