Arf arf

The other day, a buddy was telling me that his car recently died while parked in an underground garage and, improbably, on an elevated platform. It took a screwdriver, four jacks, and five attendants to push and pull the car into a position where the tow truck could get it out of garage. Once freed, the car was getting towed to a dealership up in the Bronx, so my buddy jumped into the backseat of the cab behind the driver and his apprentice. 

Cruising up the west side highway, the driver got a call from a friend, whom the driver described as a “thug.” The driver’s friend was in a bit of a pickle - his dog had recently died and he was calling from outside the pet crematorium. He had two choices, the reasonably priced option of having his dog cremated with other dogs or paying substantially more for an exclusive cremation.

I mention, because I am who I am, that a few years back I listened to a podcast on pet crematoria and they are rife with fraud. The podcast, which a google search of “podcast pet cremation” later revealed was published by Freakonimcs in 2013, ran a series of trials comparing the results of group cremations and exclusive ones. This review led to a discovery, that  based on DNA testing, there is no difference between the two. In other words, the exclusive cremations are not exclusive. For those, like me, are morbidly curious, listen here: http://freakonomics.com/podcast/the-troubled-cremation-of-stevie-the-cat-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/

The driver, an unsympathetic man, yells at his friend to make a [expletive deleted] decision, harrangues him for always being indecisive, and hangs up. The driver turns to his apprentice and my buddy to explain that his friend is nuts.  He adds that his “thug” friend has a few tattoos and got his (now dead) dog matching tattoos (while alive).  And when his dog died, he held a wake for the dog in his apartment — with an open casket.

I said to my friend when I hear a “thug” is this close to his dog, I’m thinking it’s a pit bull or Rottweiler. My buddy reponse: "I asked that driver, he said Corgi."

Stoat

A small, stinking animal.

Source: http://qi.com/infocloud/dr-johnson

 

Bourbon Street with Grandma

Dateline: a subfreezing New Orleans on the morning of the Alabama - Clemson game, Roll Tide. 

My son, who is thirteen, experienced Bourbon Street for the first time yesterday — he hated it. In order, his three biggest complaints were, too many bars, too many drunk people, and too many “inappropriate pictures of women” outside the bars.  In his defense, Bourbon Street with your parents and grandparents is a bit of a buzzkill. 

It does, however, remind me of the time he came home from kindergarten mad because the daughter of an acutal supermodel wouldn’t stop talking to him, touching him, or trying to make him laugh, which, in his words, distracted him from “being the best student he could be.

quaaltagh

(also qualtagh)

Manx English

  •  The practice or custom of going in a group from door to door at Christmas or New Year, typically making a request for food or other gifts in the form of a song. Now historical.
     
  • The first person to enter a house on New Year's Day; = "first foot". Also: the first person one meets after leaving home, especially on a special occasion.

Origin

Mid 19th century. From Manx quaaltagh, qualtagh the first person one meets after leaving the house, the first person one meets on New Year's Day, lit. ‘someone who meets or is met’ from quaail meeting, also action of meeting + -agh, suffix forming adjectives and also nouns expressing belonging, with insertion of -t-, perhaps by association with an unattested reflex of Early Irish comaltae foster-brother, companion (Irish comhalta)

 

Coach K

Michael William Krzyzekwski, who thankfully is known by the easier-to-type sobriquet Coach K, is the men’s basketball at Duke University. During his 27 years at Duke, he has won 5 NCAA Championships, appeared in 12 Final Fours, won 12 ACC Regular Season titles, and claimed 14 ACC Tournament Championships (that’s 14 in only 27 years – or slightly more than once every other year).

His coaching success is not limited to college. As the head coach of the US Men’s Basketball Olympics Head Coach he’s won the gold medal in 2008, 2012, and 2016. He was also on the coaching staff when the USA Basketball won the Olympic Gold in 1984 and 1992 (as part of the Dream Team).

Most recently, Coach K won his 1,000th game at Duke last Saturday night and the week got better for him when he beat Michigan State on Tuesday for his 1,001st win at Duke. In the twelve head-to-head match ups between Coach K and Tom Izzo at Michigan State, Coach K has prevailed 11 times. 

ducal 

of, like, or relating to a duke or dukedom

late 15c., from Middle French ducal (15c.), from Late Latin ducalis, from Latin dux (genitive ducis), from PIE root *deuk- "to lead."

*deuk – 

Proto-Indo-European root meaning "to lead."

It forms all or part of: abduce; abducent; abduct; abduction; adduce; aqueduct; circumduction; conduce; conducive; conduct; conductor; conduit; deduce; deduction; dock (n.1) "ship's berth;" doge; douche; ducal; ducat; Duce; duchess; duchy; duct; ductile; duke (n.); educate; education; induce; induction; introduce; introduction; misconduct; produce; production; reduce; reduction; seduce; seduction; subduce; subduction; taut; team (n.); teem (v.1) "abound, swarm, be prolific;" tie (n.); tow (v.); traduce; transducer; tug; zugzwang.

It is the hypothetical source of/evidence for its existence is provided by: Latin dux (genitive ducis) "leader, commander," in Late Latin "governor of a province," ducere "to lead;" Old English togian "to pull, drag," teonteon "to pull, drag;" German Zaum "bridle," ziehen "to draw, pull, drag;" Middle Welsh dygaf "I draw."

Star Wars

I was going to start by writing that I took my son to the NY Philharmonic last night to hear them simultaneously play the soundtrack to The Empire Strikes Back while we watched the movie. I realized, however, that using the verb “took” diminished his independence. So rather than that I will say that he and I went together and had a great time. When I was riding into work this morning, I was reflecting on how much I like being back in NYC and enjoying its cultural offerings. I then noticed that the gentleman sitting in front of me was wearing a necklace of real bones. My first thought was they were chicken bones but I realized this was only an assumption and I really knew nothing about the provenance of these bones (could they possibly have been human?). But enough with the macabre and back to the City.

Growing up outside of but within proximity helped me develop a sense of what made someone a New Yorker. A New Yorker had a bowl of subway tokens, the map memorized, and knew that a green globe outside of the subway means that entrance is open 24 hours and a red one means the entrance is closed at night. And that the best burger is at the Corner Bistro on West 4th between Jane and West 12th, and this address, while mind bending to a teenager in New Jersey, is perfectly sensible. A New Yorker met other New Yorkers with tantalizing precision – on the southwest corner of 44th and Sixth (and, clearly, it’s always streets then avenues). The New Yorker learned the City through experience, by living in it.

The City has changed, however, with the advent of smart phones. Want to know the best whatever in the City, there’s a list on Yelp! No need to memorize the subway map, there’s one in your pocket. Those lights outside the subway, google it and get the Gothamist article describing their history. And along with this, the City has changed, everyone can be an instant expert.  Lines around the block for cronuts and Cookie DŌ. The latest fad virally rather than experiential learned.

Oudemian: a fictitious or non-existent place.